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Steve Wells' series on EFT and Self-Acceptance
Part 2 of 4

Hi everyone,

Here is Part 2 of Steve Wells' series. Click here to review Part 1. Please note how using EFT on some of Steve's Self-Acceptance issues brings out a major (and healthy) shift in perception. I chose to comment on it within Steve's message.

At the end, Steve gives some useful steps for using EFT for Self-Acceptance.

Hugs, Gary


For 30 days I had committed myself to tapping on “Accepting myself despite my limitations”. I’d had some initial success, but on Day 5 I achieved a breakthrough…

I was sitting in front of my computer that evening reviewing the notes I had made. I realised that despite some success, I was still feeling down on myself and didn’t seem to be getting far enough just applying EFT to the presenting issues and related beliefs. I needed to address the issue of self-acceptance more directly.

I typed the following:


As I considered what associations I had to the idea of accepting myself I realised that the truth was I didn’t accept myself at all. I decided this was the issue that needed to be met head-on, not all those things I’d been amassing as reasons not to accept myself.

As I began tapping, I realised that underlying my non-self-acceptance was a fear that accepting myself was bad and would lead me down the path of ego. I also believed that if I accepted myself for all the things I had been doing that were wrong then I might not fix them. I might just continue to procrastinate and do things that weren’t really good for me. At a deeper level I also believed I was unacceptable to God.

So I tapped on these beliefs in both positive and negative form. I applied EFT to each negative belief by putting it into the set-up statement and repeating the full statement at every tapping point. As I tapped on each statement, I paid attention to the thoughts and feelings that came up with it and applied EFT to any negative and related beliefs that were elicited.

For example:

“Even though if I accept myself completely I won’t keep improving, I fully and completely accept myself.”

“Even IF I fully and completely accept myself, I am still a good person.”

Underneath, I believed I would not be a good person if I accepted myself. This was connected to some deeply held spiritual beliefs from my early (negative) religious programming, so I tapped on:

“Even THOUGH I fully and completely accept myself, I am still acceptable to God.”

This caused a very negative reaction. I thought: “No I am NOT fully and completely acceptable to God! God wants me to be better and to do better…”

So I tapped on: “Even though God couldn’t possibly accept me the way I am, I fully and completely accept myself.” And “Even though I am completely unacceptable to God, I fully and completely accept myself.”

I then began to think: “This (non-self-acceptance) is rubbish! Jesus forgave people their sins. Do I think God will not accept me? Forgive me? Aren’t acceptance and forgiveness just two sides of the same coin?”

I continued to explore my underlying fears. It seemed to me that too much self-acceptance could lead to me being ego-driven and making out that I was superior, like a god.

I applied EFT to this by putting it into the set-up statement and repeating it at every tapping point just as I had done with the previous belief statements (“Even though if I accept myself completely I will be unacceptable to God…” and; "Even though if I accept myself I’m making out that I’m superior…”)

I then thought: “Rubbish! I’m not making myself God by accepting myself. I’m merely revelling in what HE has created. Should not I love myself AND my neighbour AS myself? How can I love my neighbour as myself if I don’t love myself?”

Finally, after several more rounds of tapping, I had an intense realisation: “Accepting myself is NOT the same as ego taking over. God loves and accepts me unconditionally, I just haven’t accepted myself. Accepting myself IS good.”

And then a whole host of positive thoughts and feelings came rushing in. It was as if all the things I wanted to believe and knew were really true finally felt true. I felt I re-connected with my true purpose and all the barriers just melted away.

NOTE FROM GC: Please notice how Steve's tapping on these issues brought about new perspectives--new reframes--new belief changes. These shifts in perception happen frequently with EFT. It's as though the mental barriers to the truth has been lifted.

STEVE CONTINUES: As these positive thoughts flooded my being, they were accompanied by a feeling of peace that is difficult to describe, a feeling that lasted several days and bathed me in its light.

For the first time I realised the true power of self-acceptance, and saw the stupidity of our prevailing belief that we need to put ourselves down in order to get ourselves to do things in order to make ourselves happy. I realised I could be happy no matter what I did, and no matter what was happening around me – and that this would not only not impede me from moving forward, it would help me to do so. I also realised being happy with myself meant I could do so much more for others…

From this point onwards I was able to effortlessly proceed with my work, attacking with relish projects on which I’d been bogged down for months. I didn’t even feel like doing the things I had previously been doing that were distractions. I no longer found myself playing games on computer. I was able to reinstate my exercise program and improve on it. I started to enjoy my work again and felt I was back to working “on-purpose”… To put it simply, my life changed, and so correspondingly did the lives of others with whom I began to share these insights.

Now whenever problems come up, besides addressing the problem itself, I also address the issue of self-acceptance. I encourage you to do the same. I’ve found that whenever I confront a problem I’m now able to see the problem as separate from myself, and even when something I am doing is a problem I don’t usually get down on myself about it, I just focus on the best way forward.

I believe the issue of self-acceptance, an issue that has been staring us in the face every time we do the Set-up statement in EFT, offers a doorway to a new level of being in the world, and a new level of self-growth and happiness.

If you’d like to see how far self-acceptance tapping can take you, here are the first two steps I recommend you take:

1. Identify any problem to work on using EFT. Apply EFT to the idea of accepting yourself despite having this problem (and even if you continue to have this problem). Repeat the self-acceptance statement at each tapping point in the same form as you used it in the Set-up: i.e. “Even though I have this problem I fully and completely accept myself” stated as you tap on each point. Meditate on the idea of accepting yourself – as unacceptable as this may feel – while you tap on each point.

2. Catch yourself in non-acceptance – then do EFT on the very thing(s) that you are not accepting yourself for… Now focus on two different ideas – one that you accept yourself despite the fact that you are doing, thinking, etc this thing, and second, that even though you do not accept yourself for doing, thinking, etc this thing that you are going to accept yourself anyway even though what you are doing, thinking etc is unacceptable… this treats you for the second wounding – that of picking on yourself for picking on yourself… When you have treated the upset at yourself for your problem then you are free to address the original problem… And sometimes, this feeling about the problem is the main problem. Once this is treated, often no trace of the original problem remains.

Steve Wells
EFT Contributing Editor

Note 1: Upcoming EFT Workshops in USA and Europe by Steve Wells and Dr David Lake. Learn how to use EFT to help yourself/your clients to achieve goals of self-acceptance, positive relationships, personal growth, and building new futures. Limited places available.

Note 2: Our new book “Pocket Guide to Emotional Freedom” provides all the information you need to know to get started in using EFT to improve your life.


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